My BIG MOVE UP at the October show was a big fat fail.
This is me, dismounting off of Stella in the middle of a massive XC melt down in which she got eliminated the day before and snorted around part of her derby course like she'd never been in a field before, got eliminated the next day in stadium at fence three, and lost her freaking mind when I was stupid enough to think that all our schooling experience would make a difference and we could just treat XC like a schooling day.
This happened a few weeks ago and I've honestly just not blogged about it because, well, it's sad. I feel like a failure. I don't feel like I'm riding terribly. Not as well as in lessons for sure. But this? To get this kind of behavior just because I'm nervous? Is it all me? Do my nerves cause this dramatic behavior? Have we just not warmed up for an XC show enough that it had her this on edge?
So it's hard for me to find a going forward from here point when I'm not sure where here is. Keep taking lessons and working on my nerves? Stop showing until I'm comfortable 6 inches over what I'm showing at? Continue showing at a much lower height until I'm comfortable and confident at that height. Sell Stella and buy something more suitable? Hard to wrap my head around when I feel like we've been improving as a team all summer.
Bleck.
i'm sorry :( does it make you feel better to hear that she looks super fancy in that picture? (even if maybe in that precise moment "boring" would have been much preferable to "fancy"...) hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry it sucked, but don't give up.
ReplyDeleteI used to have really bad nerves when showing, showing a lot (thanks to IHSA made way more affordable) and at a lower level than I had schooled at home really helped me bring those nerves to a more controllable level (no longer felt like throwing up, I can actually eat and drink, My clothes no longer feel suffocating etc). Do I still get butterflies? Sure, but its absolutely more tolerable. I hope you and your team find a solution so showing can be fun!
ReplyDeleteLike L said, showing should be fun! That said, horses have bad days and this might’ve just been one of them. If it’s every time, then maybe she’s telling you this isn’t for her. I’ve had more than my share of stops at jumps (omg don’t get me started), but meltdowns? No, and that would definitely make showing a sucky experience. Hope you find a solution soon 😊
ReplyDeleteI'm a weanie eventer too! Don't give up! More lessons, more schooling, and lower levels for a bit, mixed in with lots of things like trial rides to give both your brains a break. My horse looses his brains when he's out alone (OMG the cougars will get me!) and bolts around at least once or twice each time. But it's getting better each time too! Good luck!
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